Christianity Without Embarrassment

And Kids and Christ

As I approached my gate in Cincinnati on the way to New York, I noticed a group of ultra-orthodox Jewish young men who were waiting for the same flight. In fact, I couldn’t help but notice them. They were dressed in black with fedoras and white shirts. Fringes hung from their waists. Some wore tefillin, boxes on the forehead and arm containing verses of the Torah. They prayed and read Torah aloud.

Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/young-man-reading-a-book-4034439/

Teenagers are notoriously image-conscious, but these Jewish youth seemed unaffected by their difference from everyone else in the airport. They showed not a hint of the kind of embarrassment one might expect from teenagers. They knew who they were, and what their faith required.

I began to wonder how one forms such a deep culture in young people. How can we form Christians with this kind of commitment? Numerous factors work against us, not least the changing moral and spiritual landscape of the West. In case you haven’t noticed, being a Christian isn’t exactly cool anymore. I recommend reading Aaron Renn’s book Life in the Negative World: Confronting Challenges in an Anti-Christian Culture, and the article upon which it’s based, “The Three Worlds of Evangelicalism.” Depending on where you are in the country, you’d get more approval from dressing up like a furry than from wearing a t-shirt with a cross on the back. Many people think Christianity is not simply incorrect or irrational, but harmful, a source of moral wrong. In its traditional forms, with its ethical claims around sex, marriage, and human life, Christianity inhibits human flourishing, so they say. If you’re a Christian, you’re not just a dweeb. You’re a Bad Person.

Remember the 2002 movie Signs? It was pretty typical M. Night Shyamalan scary plot-twist fare. Mel Gibson plays a priest who lost his faith and left the ministry. At the end of the movie, though, his faith is restored. He puts his priestly collar back on, presumably to re-enter Christian ministry, an act that completes the movie’s redemptive arc.

Can you imagine an ending like this to a movie made today? I’m not talking about a movie by Angel Studios or some other faith-oriented production company. I’m talking about a summer Hollywood blockbuster. Would the restoration of Christian faith ever feature as the happy ending of such a movie in our current climate? More likely, the main character would be someone who breaks the chains of an oppressive upbringing in order to blossom into his/her/their authentic self. Times have changed. The self has displaced Christ as the cultural touchstone of righteousness. Self-discovery has displaced self-denial. Authenticity has supplanted sanctification. The metaphysical and moral world has shifted before our eyes. There are thus three options: (1) accept the reality of these changes and adjust our expectations and practices, (2) deny them until we can no longer do so, or (3) capitulate to the ethical demands of a neo-pagan world. I see all three options at work in churches today.

None of us wants to be identified as a Bad Person. We want to be liked. Nevertheless, we all have to choose at some point between pleasing God and pleasing people. The biblical paradigm of this is Peter in the courtyard while Jesus is being interrogated before the council (Mark 14:66-72). Peter was Jesus’ closest companion. Yet faced with a situation in which acknowledging Jesus could have severe consequences, he denied Jesus, not once, but three times. He even swore an oath: “I do not know this man you are talking about” (14:71). We look at this as a failure on Peter’s part, and it was, though we shouldn’t be too hard on him. He might have faced death for denying Jesus. Sometimes we get embarrassed just praying over our breadsticks at the Olive Garden.

Rembrandt, “The Denial of Saint Peter,” Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

You will have to choose between pleasing God and pleasing people, not just in one dramatic moment, but many times throughout your life as a Christian.

I’m currently reading The Nicene Creed: A Scriptural, Historical & Theological Commentary, by Jared Ortiz and Daniel A. Keating. Their description of the church is really helpful:

Etymologically, ecclesia comes from the Greek ek-kaleō, which means “to call out” or “to call forth.” The church consists of those who are called out of their normal way of life to be gathered together and set apart for God. They are called forth to become part of a new community and a new way of life. The English word “church,” from the Greek kuriakos (via the German Kirche), means “of the Lord” or “belonging to the Lord.” The Church has its origin from the Lord, and the Church is that people—or better, body—which properly belongs to the Lord (174).

We are set apart. We belong to God, and God works in and through the church uniquely to draw us closer to him.

God’s work in and through us involves the renewal of our mind (Romans 12:2). The Holy Spirit gives us a set of corrective lenses. We experience intellectual sanctification. Our perspective changes and we see things differently. The more the Holy Spirit works on us, the more clearly we see. Our Christian view of the world will at times bring us into sharp conflict with the world around us, and often we will feel like outsiders. We’re different. We don’t value what they value or act the way they act. This can be really uncomfortable.

Let’s move from theory to practice. I have a few suggestions for practical ways to raise up kids who find their identity in Christ, and who prioritize their faith even when they may feel like outsiders. I’m no parenting expert. I’m just a parent, so take my advice for what it’s worth.

First, teach your kids the faith in the home. Pray with them. Take them to church. Teach them the stories of the Bible. Let them know that your relationship with Christ is important to you. Live like a Christian. Make faith a part of your familial identity. They will learn by your example.

Second, find a church community that teaches the orthodox Christian faith both from the pulpit and in the classroom. The church is the community founded by Christ to draw people into his life. We are there to become saints. The proclamation of the gospel is a means by which the Triune God invites us to participate in the love that inheres between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Our participation is made possible through Christ’s atoning work on the cross, and God’s victory over death is made manifest in the bodily resurrection of Christ. If this message is not the center of a church’s proclamation, then that church has departed from the message of salvation that has come down to us from the time of the apostles. You don’t want your kids in that church.

Third, I’m a big advocate for classical Christian schools. I put my older son in one starting in the third grade and it was one of the best parenting decisions Mrs. Watson and I ever made. He received an outstanding education in the liberal arts. He developed refined skills of critical thinking. He learned the orthodox faith week after week in worship. And he developed a peer group of Christian friends with whom he remains close these years later.

Fourth, help your kids get connected with spiritual fathers and mothers outside of your home. The local church is a great place for this, but so are other venues like Christian camps. As a teen, my son loved the Aldersgate Renewal Ministries yearly gathering and benefitted from mentorship in that context. When he went to college at Asbury University, he connected with people who could help guide him through his college years in faith.

Mentorship by people of the same sex is important. Yes, women can learn from men and vice-versa. No argument there. But there are things that young Christian men need to learn from older Christian men, and things young Christian women need to learn from older Christian women. In my life, Boy Scouts was significant in this way, and when I went to seminary, mentorship by Ed Sylvest and Billy Abraham, along with a few others as I got older, helped to shape me as a Christian.

Here’s another way of putting all this: everyone is catechized. Everyone is formed spiritually in some way or another. So who will catechize our young people? Who will form them as spiritual beings? Will it be social-media influencers or pop stars? Will it be podcast hosts like Joe Rogan, or popular intellectuals like Richard Dawkins? If the church abdicates these roles or goes about them half-heartedly, some other worldview will fill in the gaps we leave open. The church must become a thicker culture if we want to give our young people a faith that can sustain the world’s contempt.